February 11, 2014

how did you know (s)he was the one?

yangkyu and i will celebrate five years of marriage in august. to mark our first little milestone, i thought i'd do something special on the blog. sort of like a monthly countdown with themes, stories and friends to join in and share with. does this sound like something you'd stick around for? i hope so.

during dinner one night, i asked yangkyu, "how did you know i was the one?" but yangkyu just gave me one of his stumped stares. i call it the innocent, geeky computer nerd look. you know, they're good with computer programming language, but not so good with real people language. so i flipped the question around and asked myself, "how did i know he was the one?"

well, this question had me scratching my head for a while, too. {let me borrow your stare for a little bit}

yangkyu and i started out as really close friends. we gave each other relationships tips when we were dating other people and i used to stick my foot in his face whenever he beat me in a video game. when timing finally worked for us {see #5} and we found each other again in the city where we first met, single and ready to love, i guess i just knew then that i wanted to be with him. you know, permanently. forever. to infinity and beyond. 

but this seemed like such a simple answer to what seemed like such a hard question. but perhaps sometimes there isn't always a fancy answer. that you know because you just know. 

i said earlier that i love a good storytelling session with friends to join and share. well, i asked five of my blogger friends to share how they knew he was the one. their answers are a delight

"we met at the university, because we were taking several classes together, and he asked me for a date after learning that i liked kevin smith movies. he was shocked that a girl could ever like this type of humor and i guess he was also somehow intrigued. from that moment on we had several dates but i truly wasn't sure if that was more than a friendship until a few months later when we visited barcelona's modern art museum. we were goofing around telling which animal we swore seeing in the abstract paintings (quite a silly game!) when we both turned around totally fascinated with a blue painting, he said in a lower voice, "this will be our ocean." at that time i heard my heart tell me: i want to spend the rest of my life with him, in our ocean." --- d├ámaris from the cat, you and us. married 1 year (12 dating). barcelona, spain.  

"i knew brandon was the one when we were on a 'break' after 2 years of dating. we met in high school through mutual friends and we started dating after a few months of hanging out.. and hours of late night phone calls. he was my first serious boyfriend and he quickly became my best friend. he really was the perfect guy for me, but i got a little scared. love is so powerful and at 20, that intense love and commitment freaked me out a little. could i really spend the rest of my life with this one person? that 'break' only lasted about 2 weeks and was definitely a blessing, because YES, i wanted to spend my life with him. i realized how happy he made me and that he was a keeper! he was someone i needed in my life forever and we've been together ever since (11 years)! i am so blessed to have him in my life and can't wait to see what the next 50+ years have in store!" --- jessica from creative index. married almost 5 years. north carolina, usa. 

"you know the voice in your head, otherwise known as your gut instinct? normally that voice just tells me to 'eat more chocolates' but one fine day, some 6 years ago, just as stu and his colleagues walked past me at work, the voice said 'look up'. 'look at this man', it said to me. so i looked (ok stared) at stu as he walked right past completely oblivious to me. i remember thinking afterwards, 'what was that about?!' in the months that followed, stu started coming past my workplace quite regularly for meetings with my boss. we started chatting and flirting and finally went on our first date 6 months later and have never looked back since. i often still wonder why that voice in my head had told me to look at stu. that fateful day and my guess is somehow my subconscious knew he was the one! --- trishie from under lock and key. married 2.5 years. sydney, australia. 

"unexpected things do happen in life. when it happens, it does when we least expect it. just like love and destiny, i once met a guy who took my breath away the first time we met, unfortunately he took my breath away the day he walked away. since then i experienced nothing but pains, anger and disappointments. i lost faith and was scared to love again until the day my husband came into my life. he proved true love does exist. it was the kind of love i had never experienced. i couldn't help but smile every time i closed my eyes and thought about him. when i missed him, he coincidentally called me. i found comfort in hearing his voice despite the distance. i didn't have any doubts as to where our relationship would end up. i felt incredibly calm, content and fully trusted. i could see 'us' in his eyes. we could sit side by side having anything to say yet felt connected and comfortable. he tried to understand and embrace my imperfections in a way no one could. that moment.. i knew he was the one. ten years later, he still is the one." --- nelah from maysa and sunshine. married 10 years (and 2 years long distance relationship - us & thailand). texas, usa. 

"i don't believe in love at first sight, and even if i did, such thoughts weren't exactly on my radar when i first met my husband aged 10! we weren't really friends, just acquaintances, and our age gap of 4 years seemed much larger in my teens. when we did get to know each other years down the line, what struck me the most was how i was able to be completely myself with him. riddled with insecurities and uncertainties, i had always felt as though i had to adapt and change according to who i was with - romantic and non-romantic relationships included - and i did not like that about myself. he let me be me and only me, all the time, and that was a revelation. but ultimately, i knew for certain because we weathered the storms, fought for each other and overcame hugely difficult obstacles. no relationship is smooth sailing, but choosing to fight than to flee - that builds something strong and hopeful." --- miho from wander to wonder. married 6 months - london, uk. 

delightful, right? 

so now tell me. how did you know your partner was the one? did you have an ah-ha moment? or was is it more of a natural progression? i'd love to hear your stories.

 // special thank you to d├ámaris, jessica, trishie, nelah and miho for joining me in the first edition of our countdown to our anniversary with your beautiful stories.  wishing you happy anniversaries to you this year. 

35 comments

  1. Oh myyyy, 5 years already! I envy you Jane c:
    I think Yangkyu is lucky to have you and you
    are lucky to have him. And of course Piri :P
    I hope to able to find the One. Will read the
    5 stories soon after I've finished my homework..
    Xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a lovely thing to read, especially so close to Valentine's. Thank you for sharing, Jane. It's so heart-warming to read how couples find each other, and how the love just grows every day....

    ReplyDelete
  3. These are great!!! Love the part about how you would put your foot in his face, lol.
    With John the revelation came at the end of our second date (which was the day after our first). He gave me a kiss goodnight that left me weak in the knees and driving home I just knew.

    ReplyDelete
  4. <3 I love these, I'm just a complete sucker for this. so heartwarming!!

    Nat and I have a similar story that we started as very good friends, sharing with each other about our families and relationships. I think it was very much the timing that brought us together, Both single and both determined not to be looking for a relationship, and somehow we just started to fall for each other. I'd say the moment I *knew was after a particularly bad fight (after quite a few bad fights in a short span of time), he told me that he wasn't going to allow his mind to wander when we hit a rought patch and wonder if maybe we should end things, that he would no longer even consider breaking up because he wants to make things work no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I loved reading these stories! I am kinda in the same boat as Jessica. My husband and I met in the 6th grade and became the best of friends around 8th grade. We began our relationship when we were freshmen in high school which basically met IM-ing into the late hours of the day. We dated all throughout high school and college. We took about a month "break" our sophomore year of college and that's when I knew he was "the one". We married two weeks after we graduated college and that was almost 2 years ago now!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your and the four ladies' stories are lovely, Jane. The kind of love that evolves from friendship must be very profound. Who would have known one day you ended up falling in love with a friend whom you once stick your foot in his face, right? Too funny and cute. Thanks for having me. This post really got me in the Valentine's mood.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My husband claims that he knew the moment he saw me.. like a love at first sight type of thing. For me, it was more of a gradual thing, I didn't have an 'ah-ha' moment like he did, haha! :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

    ReplyDelete
  8. really sweet stories..
    for us it was a gradual thing.. we didn't know we were each others the ones till after we were married.. (arranged marriage)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aw, what a sweet post!! I love hearing this story about you two. And I have always been for having relationships after forming a friendship first, I think that's so important, and usually the relationships that last the longest :) I'm not married, but have faith that when that moment comes, I will just know :) Congrats to you two - cheers to many, many more years of happiness together!! love and hugs!! You guys are inspirational! xo

    ReplyDelete
  10. 5 Years! Congrats, what a milestone! This was such a lovely post!

    Unfortunately I am still waiting for the marriage to begin, but I have heard that it its coming! Before I can share my "ah-ha" moment, the back story is that my boyfriend, Dave, started working for the company I had been working for. He started as an Intern, and I was in HR managing all of the interns (odd because he is 2 years older than me). I was instantly filled with butterflies the very first moment I laid eyes on him, but I knew it couldn't be more because of work. We became very close friends over his first 6 months at the company, and on June 22nd when we were out with some of our friends he asked if it would be alright to kiss me. We were dancing to I Wanna Dance With Somebody, and I couldn't even reply. He kissed me and ALL of our friends started clapping. That was my moment, I knew he was the one.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love reading stories like this. Thanks for sharing!

    I knew Danny was "the one" when I knew I could count on him for any small or big incident. He has always been my rock. He has made me a better person over the years, and I hope I have done the same for him.

    ReplyDelete
  12. first congrats, and what a sweet post! I love hearing all these stories. it really cheered me up this morning! our story starts out similar to yours, close friends who gave each other advice on everything. and we did play way too many video games together! one day, out of no where, we found ourselves together and seven years later still are :).

    ReplyDelete
  13. such a cute post - I'm totally familiar with the blank-computer-nerd look. Happy soon to be 5 year anniversary!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks so much for including me in your post! I loved reading everyone's stories! I'm such a sucker for love!

    ReplyDelete
  15. this is such a pleasure to read, and i feel honoured to be included! and i also have loved reading all the comments and everyone's stories, it's so nice to get a sneak peek into them. we're still babies when it comes to marriage, but witnessing relationships like you and yangkyu's make me so excited for the many years to come. i can't wait for the next instalment in this series! x

    ReplyDelete
  16. All these sweet stories totally made me smile! Congrats on coming up on almost 5 years! May you keep growing closer.
    My husband and I actually didn't even like each other when we first met but we ended up becoming really good friends and then one day we just saw each other in a different light. Fast forward to many years later, we're now like the same person finishing each others thoughts and sentences. We even have our own language :)

    Rowena @ rolala loves

    ReplyDelete
  17. What amazing stories. Rick and I are about to celebrate our 5 year dating anniversary in a couple weeks and we will have been married 3 years this May. I'll be honest, I wasn't looking for a serious relationship when we started dating, and I really didn't expect to be getting married again. But we managed to conquer so many tough issues in our first year of dating that I knew we could overcome everything and that I needed him in my corner. Permanently.

    ReplyDelete
  18. These are such beautiful and inspiring stories. It's always so nice to see just how unique everybody's love is. It's really something special when two people find each other! I can't wait to see what else you have in store for your countdown!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Awww I love your relationship. I don't really how I knew the fiance was "the one"... but I guess it might be when I realized that he was the only person genuinely interested in what I love and pushes me to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks Jane, is such a honor to be included among all the other sweet bloggers. It is also very cool to read in the comments more tender love stories, yay for everyone sharing! Absolutely loved how you explained the conversation with Yangkyu and his geeky computer look, the foot stuck in his face when losing at videogames and your infinity and beyond.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This such a cute idea and post. And I think why your relationship is so good is because you guys are friends. So many couples are not friends and it just does not work.

    Allie of ALLIE NYC
    allienyc.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh, I love this! This is an exciting series Jane! Also, thank you for introducing me to some blogs that I like. ;) I already wrote about how I met Scott here:

    http://www.thejessicalblog.com/2013/03/iraq-beginning-of-us.html

    It's kind of boring, but it's certainly different and unique.

    -Jess L

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dang! FIVE years! Congrats! I love this series of stories, they're so cute and warming to hear :)

    pilgrimmemoirs.com
    Memoirs of a Pilgrim

    ReplyDelete
  24. happy anniversary! i really enjoy reading this story

    ReplyDelete
  25. Happy anniversary Jane and Yangkyu, you guys are so lovely! All the stories are very romantic, thank you for sharing their wonderful stories!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Jane, I love this post so much. So much fun reading everyone's story and yes, just delightful. I am so happy to be included! Cheers to love!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey Jane! I just saw your email about contributing to this! So sorry! I forget to check that email all the time. I'm so bad about it. If you still want me to contribute, let me know. I'll be checking it now this week. =( -Jess L

    ReplyDelete
  28. i love this so so much!!! these were so interesting to read! beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  29. What a lovely idea! I loved reading your story and those of your bloggy friends. I knew Mr. ShuGar was the one after I had dated lots & been alone. I discovered after an unsuccessful marriage who I wanted to spend my life with. Mr. ShuGar and I had a long-distant relationship in the beginning of our courtship for a few months. When I came back, we reconnected and the passion was like nothing I had ever felt in my life because it wasn't just physical - it was spiritual, emotional, and I felt tingles throughout my entire body. I followed my gut and let myself fall in love. The rest is history!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I was fine with being single this Valentine's day and then you go and post this. You guys are SO cute.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Such a sweet post! Starting out as close friends is always a good ingredient in a relationship - you guys are prefect for each other! xx Kat


    Love and Ace

    ReplyDelete
  32. Happy 5th year anniversary! Lovely post. I enjoyed reading this :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Happy 5th anniversary Jane! Like you, I love reading stories--thanks for asking and sharing them. <3 Almost married for a year now, it's always great to know happy couples that have been married for longer--there's so much we can learn from you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. these are such beautiful stories. so romantic. i like that you and your husband were friends and it turned into a relationship. i always find those so nice. well, i thought i had the one 3 times in my life, but they didn't feel the same. so i'm single. i still have faith, and hopefully i will have a love story of my own one day to tell.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

    ReplyDelete
  35. oh gosh these stories are so sweet :) I knew my boyfriend was the one, when he told me those little soy sauce fish were super cool (on our first phone chat) and I was thinking how magical that there is a boy out there that notices and appreciates small details like the shape of a soy sauce container :P

    ReplyDelete

Latest Instagrams

© Winding Ridge Lane . Design by Fearne.