Lately I've been feeling like him. You know, the boy who cried wolf.
Piri had some rough patches these past few days. He has lost his appetite and when he is able to get some food in, he can't hold it down and throws it back up. I have been on my wits end and had some crying spells sprinkled in a few of times during the weekend because I am on edge and I am desperate for him to eat. He did manage to finish up a bowl of boiled cabbages and chicken on Sunday afternoon and that lifted my spirits up significantly. But later on that night he threw up and also asked to go out during the wee hours of the night because he had an upset stomach. If you see my Facebook status updates it goes from one end of the happiness spectrum to the other end, which is total despair and nervousness. As soon as I post something about Piri being terribly sick he would eat his heart out and be in good spirits. And the minute I get excited and let the world know of his good condition he'll throw something up, have no energy, sleep for hours on end and we'll be back to square one.
After I came back from letting Piri out at night, I couldn't go back to sleep and frantically searched online for how to prepare meals for dogs with renal disease. This I did a thousand times over, but I always feel like I'll find something new. But instead I found a forum where one lady was seeking help in taking care of her dog with end stage renal disease. It was terrible. The whole strand within the forum went from having hope to ultimately putting her dog to sleep because she just was not eating. This all in the span of one month. I cried.. and cried.. and cried.
There are such joyous moments when you own a dog. It's really indescribable the happiness you have when you are showered with the love from a dog. But there are moments like this. Moments when you heart worries and breaks. And I am learning what it really means to be there for him when he needs it the most. To show love, care, patience, warmth and strength.
Through all this I feel like I'm slowly losing control of other aspects of my life. I have been good about getting quality sleep so I can function throughout the day, to promptly respond to emails, requests and be on top of my routine and getting through all my tasks and responsibilities for the day and week. I have not been able to do any of this and it's making me feel unproductive, irresponsible and, well, like I don't have control over anything anymore. I sometimes feel groggy and don't want to do anything except to see if Piri will eat. I need to come out of this zombie state. I am trying.
I think this weekend was a good start to try and get back on track with things. It was a good busy kind of Saturday and Sunday. We had a Dogvacay guest who was just the happiest little guy - Gizmo, a 10.5 week old Havanese puppy. I took care of some holiday Dogvacay booking requests and meet and greets and we finally got around to chopping up some logs for firewood. We also spent an impromptu gathering at our friends house around some warm fire and dinner, too. Piri was with us and got some comfy cushions to lay on and massages. He loves those. I am thankful for these moments and these wonderful people who we recently became friends with who love and care for Piri's well being as much as we do. I really think things happen at a certain time and for a reason. Our meeting them really has been some kind of wonderful.
Hope your weekend was a good one, and hope the week is even better.
PS - We learned over the weekend that Miles crossed the rainbow bridge. If you remember, Karen had shared their wonderful story on June's feature of "A Girl and Her Dog." Miles was 15 years old, just like Piri, and his story has really touched my heart and taught me about perseverance. Wishing Karen much peace and comfort. Rest in Peace Miles, you sweet sweet boy.