November 20, 2014

Letters to Piri // 04

Dear Piri, 

 // I went on and on and on about why I love you and this senior stage of your life to help raise awareness during this month, which is Adopt a Senior Pet month, but I never asked you.. what do you like most about being a senior? 

 // Some days I just don't want to do anything. No energy, no motivation. Yesterday was one of those days and I absentmindedly fell asleep on your spot on the couch and didn't bother ironing Yangkyu's shirts. Did you mean to help me? I woke up to find that you had scratched your way on top of those clean shirts. Maybe you were trying to iron them for me. I know you want Yangkyu to know what a good boy you are for doing that, but maybe we'll just keep this one between us. 

 // It feels like just yesterday when we went about our days eating what we wanted and being playful and energetic. Never in my wildest imagination did I think that you were sick with kidney disease. Sorry that we caught it so late. Sorry that you had such a rough time with all those medications. Sorry that your food tastes so bland now. Sorry that your entire schedule seems like it's turned upside down. Nothing works like clockwork now. It must've felt a little overwhelming. I hope you still feel a small bit of comfort knowing that we still love you to no end.. and that we can still share apples, too. Not as much as we used to, but we still can. 

 // I still feel guilty you know. Sometimes I can't be vocal. Sometimes I can't just say what I want to say because I feel like I'll hurt people's feelings. I wish I did though because I end up feeling bad because I feel like I didn't stick up for you. I wish I was a bit tougher, questioned more and set my foot down harder at the first feeling I had in my gut when I knew something wasn't quite right with the medications you were on. I know I said it before, but I'm so sorry Piri. I'm so sorry for putting you through that. 


 // Piri, it's right around the corner! The most wonderful time of the year is right around the corner! But we can start watching those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies now. Remember the ones we watched last year? What was it called? Oh I forget. But they were so bad. 

 // Yes. You're wearing your Christmas jammies again this year. 

 // Yes. I'm taking a picture and posting on Instagram. 

 // You know, sometimes when you sleep, you wiggle your nose quite excitedly. Are you dreaming of eating something good? Is it like you're sniffing it, ready to take a big bite and then you wake up? I had those kind of dreams too. So cruel. At least let us have one small bite before waking up, right? 


 // Sometimes I wish it was just you and me and Yangkyu. And a bunch of other dogs and farm animals. On a farm somewhere near the mountains of Vermont. We can go collect eggs together and huddle around the fire to keep warm. We can grow our own produce, get some milk from our cow and goat friends and make our own adventures with the animals and people we like. Wouldn't that be nice? Sometimes I just want to be away from everything I know now and start new. 

 // Okay, you can be in charge of collecting the eggs. As long as you don't bother the chickens. That wasn't really my point of the story but ok. You love chickens. I get it. 


 // I found an amigurumi cocker spaniel pattern. The little doll looks exactly like you. I'm still learning how to read patterns but I'm going to crochet it. You just wait and see. And I might put it on your head. I hope you don't mind. Thanks for always being such a good sport about it. 

 // Is it selfish of me to want everything? My biggest fear is not being able to start a family with you. Yangkyu always scolds me and tells me to take it day by day.. but you know, sometimes I feel so desperate like I don't have enough time. Or that we don't have enough time. But i know.. while I worry about all this, the only thing that is happening is losing time. 

 // Thanks for giving me a pass though during my times of desperation. That's why I like that you and Yangkyu are always in my corner. 


 // They said that if we fold 1000 cranes, we'll be granted one wish. I'm gonna fold 1000 cranes. And we're going to get that wish. 

 // What are you going to wish for, Piri? 

Love, 
The human girl who loves you to infinity and beyond. 



Read other Letters to Piri here

14 comments

  1. Cutie patootie as always. I hope you get to make that amigurumi cocker spaniel, I'll bet it'd be adorable!

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  2. This letter made me teary-eyed :'( I can tell from these photos how much Piri loves you and vice versa. I know exactly what you mean about the desire to move somewhere and start everything from fresh. I always had this idea when I was younger that I would only stay in one city for up to three years at a time and then migrate to a new city. But I met my husband and he loves our hometown so...I don't think we will be moving anytime soon :( Anyway, I hope you're feeling OK. It's tough when you are feeling down emotionally, physically, and/or mentally. Hugs xx

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  3. These letters to Piri are just heart-warming, Jane. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing these thoughts.

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  4. So beautiful...and so very true in those moments of fear and concern that we lose precious time. You are going to be such an awesome mama friend...I can feel it in this post! And all of these steps are about learning...I am learning to put my foot down too...it's not easy but we can do it! He is so lucky to be so loved! And when you get that place in Vermont give me a call!! Happy almost weekend pal! Nicole xo

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  5. Ilhan and I just read this together, this series is so sweet. I hope Piri feels better, we're thinking about him and you guys!

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  6. Awww gosh those damn onions again! :P But really this is the sweetest *big hugs for you guys* Oh and I feel the exact same way about my ability to exert myself, I actually have horrific thoughts about it enabling me in crisis times and that scares me. Don't be too hard on yourself - Piri is so super lucky to have the level of love you guys give him :)

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  7. Ahhh...so much love...I hope Piri feels better soon. He's so cute, I feel like sometimes now Piri is my dog reading about him so much, I feel sad when he's not well and happy when he's better. I never had a dog, but always wanted one. I hope you get your wish <3

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  8. Awww so sweet Jane, I wish I am as good human mom & pal to Juno as you are with Piri. Wishing everyday for your sweet family through the paper crane, it's only one but maybe when I reach 1000 days of wishing it's the same result? :) Looking forward to see Piri's crochet doll, oh! and I'm really jealous of his yarn collar, too cute!

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  9. Amazing post <3 So heart warming :3 Pets are truly part of the family

    xoxo
    bcfactor.blogspot.com

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  10. I ve been following u more on Instagram than here and Jane u are really caring person and I m not writing that just to write something, I love how u put ur attention in everything, not only in ur emotions, but everything, small projects, everyday DIYS, details and there is so many reasons to be truly gentle to yourself. If me as a stranger see that trust me that u are making it great. xx

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  11. aw this is incredibly touching. The bond you have with Piri is simply unexplainable. I get that. While I don't own a dog, I can understand this emotional bond that can't be compared to anything else you feel.
    xo,
    nancy

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  12. Piri is the absolute cutest! He's going through a lot. But you're doing everything to keep him happy and things a little easier. He appreciates it.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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