July 7, 2017

Time doesn't care about your feelings. It just ruthlessly goes on whether you are ready or not.

Starting from yesterday, Piri's Place is closed for a week. I had originally taken these days off so that we can go do things with Mr. Bartles. I had been so busy since May caring for guest dogs and Yangkyu has been busy transitioning between projects at work, getting ready for grad school and also studying to get another Microsoft certificate under his belt. This was our break where we would take things slow and enjoy each other's company, something we haven't been able to do in a while. Bartles unfortunately left us before we got to squeeze in another outing with him. And now Yangkyu and I are a bit stumped with all this free time on our hands. 

We have a monthly budget we like to try and stick to but I was so angry these past two days and I reacted in ways that I normally wouldn't. Like spending. I didn't care about anything and I ended up ordering a bunch of books on Amazon. I regretted as soon as they arrived yesterday. I could've just borrowed books from the library. 

I also bought a bunch of other things I can't recall and am afraid for their delivery dates. Yangkyu gets nervous when we spend more than within our means, and lately our budget has been going over with vet bills. He'll let me know when we have to go on a short spending freeze until our budget balances out again, and while I know he knows that I've been spending like a mad woman these past couple of days, he hasn't said anything. Instead, he tries to put a smile on my face any chance he can get. Even when I angrily push him away.

I think processing a lot of returns are in my near future.

We plan to head out to DC over the weekend. We haven't been out there in a while. Perhaps enjoy a museum or two. One of the greatest things about living in the DC metropolitan area are the museums that are so close to us. We don't experience them often enough. 

Tomorrow will be 1 week since Bartles left us in such odd circumstances. I felt it with Piri then as I do now.. that time doesn't care about your feelings. It just ruthlessly goes on whether you are ready or not.

Currently reading // The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs
Currently listening // The Summer Wind by Madeleine Peyroux 

어제 부터 피리네집은 1주일 동안 문 닫아요. 원래 바틀스랑 놀러갈려고 휴가 낸건데... 5월서 부터 강아지 손님 케어하느라 계속 바쁘고 양규도 바쁜 일 동시에 대학원 갈 준비 그리고 마이크로 소프트 자격증 한나더 딸려고 공부하느라 계속 바빴어요. 이번 기회에 우리들만에 시간 가지면서 지낼려고 했는데 바틀스는 그전에 우리 곁에 떠났어요. 그래서 인제 이 많은 시간을 가진 나와 양규는 뭘 어떻게 해야될지 몰라요.

한달에 쓰는 비용 넘지 않게 매번 노력하는데 바틀스가 죽은것 대해 너무 화나서 무시하고 책을 왕창 샀어요. 도서관에서 빌려볼수 있었는데. 배달 오자마자 급 후회. 실은 화낌에 다른것들도 막 샀어요. 그 물건들도 배달오는날들이 걱정되요.

양규는 우리가 버는 돈 보다 더 많이 쓰는걸 싫어해요. 빛도 엄청 싫어하고. 그래서 우리가 좀더 많이 쓸때가 있으면 조금 자제 해서 단분간 돈 안쓰고 그렇거든요. 최근에 병원비용이 많이 나와서 좀 힘들어하긴 했는데 내가 요 몇일동안 더 써서 아마 양규는 스트레스 많이 받고 있을거에요. 내가 분명 돈 많이 쓴걸 알고 있을텐데 아무말도 안하고 오히려 날 웃게 해줄려고 해요. 내가 싫다고 투정부려도. 

아마 조만간 내 미래에는 물건을 많이 반납하는일이 많지 않을까 싶네요.

내일은 1주일이에요... 바틀스가 우리곁에 떠난지. 피리때도 그랬는데 시간은 너무 빨리 가요. 시간은 우리 감정따위 신경도 안써요. 우리가 준비되었던 말던 계속 흘러가죠.. 그리고 우린 쫓아갈수 밖에 없게되요.

현제 읽고 있는 책 // The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs
현제 듣고 있는 노래 // The Summer Wind by Madeleine Peyroux 

1 comment

  1. I think I'll have to quote you in the future with that quote Jane, so true, sad but a powerful statement to our transient life. Sending you guys lots of love xoxo


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