December 5, 2017

Lately


I have been on break from Piri's Place since November 26th - so a little over a week. I usually close for about a week after a wave of guests leave and we haven't had numerous requests for booking for the month of December. We have one guest coming tomorrow for daycare and another for a week-long stay next week.

October was just an incredibly busy month where we had up to 8 dogs at one point while November was less hectic. But it seems as though December, usually one of our busiest months, is very slow. Part of the reason I presume is because we are closing for Christmas and New Year's this year. The first time since starting Piri's Place.

We decided to close because starting off in January we have a couple of guests staying with us for the entire month and one gets nauseous during car rides and so we can't go out even for a little bit for quick coffee runs with all the dogs. And so before I get busy with these guests, I knew I needed a good week or so off. And the timing worked out well for us - it will give us a chance to enjoy the holidays with Lady and go see The Nutcracker (something we tried to make a tradition, switching off with A Christmas Carol at Ford's Theatre but kind of fell of the wagon) and do other holiday things. Yangkyu's last final is on the 19th and Piri's Place is off from the 20th so it really is perfect timing for us. 

Before with Yangkyu's previous job which allowed him to work from home for most of the week and when he didn't have school, we were always out and about when we didn't have guest dogs. We were always going to dog friendly places, taking lots of pictures and experiencing new (and old) things. We haven't done that in a long time. Aside from not having time to go out anymore, to be honest, while Lady is an extremely gentle dog and so great in many ways, she gets me a little nervous. I already mentioned her peeing and pooping out of nowhere (on side walks, etc. - Piri always went on grass and never inside stores) but she sometimes isn't the friendliest to other dogs while she is leashed. She doesn't bite and she enjoys the meeting at first but when the dogs gets too in her face she'll growl. She sometimes jumps or moves her body at the same time and that's probably why I get so nervous. I also don't know how the other dog will react. I never had a problem with friendliness with Piri and Bartles and so rather than getting her more used to greeting dogs while leashed (she is fine at home) I have been shying away from it. I shouldn't, and I know we can get over this (and it's not a major issue where she's dangerously aggressive.. it's something very minor) but it's just one of many things that has been slipping off my plate lately. 

Which brings me to my main conundrum.

Why have I been so lazy lately? 

I look at my old pictures and posts and wonder how I was so into making and baking and cooking and pictures and DIY posts. I don't think I can ever work on a DIY post again. So much work! While I have so many knitting patterns, crafting ideas and books I want to read it takes me forever to pick it up. Writing a blog, reading blogs and going down my Instagram feed seem like daunting tasks. They never felt this way. And I feel a part of myself inner self crying every time I write this because I know somewhere in the past 6 months, a year, maybe more, I have written about this. This funk. And since then, each day has started with a new determination and has ended with a "maybe tomorrow." For far too long. Which makes it that much more depressing. 

I meant to take more pictures like I used to and Lady shying away from the camera has felt deflating and I feel incredibly bad that I am somehow placing blame for my lack of motivation on Lady. 

Something in my life has felt off kilter for a while. I was thinking one night that perhaps I am still missing the life I had with Piri. The amazing rhythm we had. The way we all knew each other's next move even without speaking. And maybe I'm trying to recreate that when I should embrace and accept what we have now. Or did I exhaust myself too much the two years caring for my old and sick boys and now my body is just wanting to be on a long long break. 

Me and my thoughts. Sometimes I am that beaver overthinking dam

4 comments

  1. I think you'll find your rhythm again, it's nice to have the new year around the corner, a resetting of sorts :) :) I think the break will be wonderful too!! Your brain probably needs some time off to regroup and your heart is healing too! *hugs*

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  2. Ohh Jane, if only I could give you any form of advice or answer. I am struggling with similar thoughts and I'm not quite sure where it has all come from. Please don't force yourself too much, you'll find your rhythm again -- try to be patient and gentle with yourself. :)

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  3. I hope you find that rhythm again, I know how it is to lose it. Am just getting back to things. I was too exhausted. Just take your time and let all things heal and get back to regular :) x

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  4. I've been super tired as well - I'm not sure if it's my body adjusting to a new rhythm of doing things and me not listening. Try a "new normal" and see how that fits. And let me know how it goes because I'm still trying to figure it out

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