February 26, 2013

a walk down memory lane: you asked me to put in quarters.. so i put in quarters...

i make you laugh.

like the time when after finally finding street parking in the busiest part of queens, ny, you asked me to quickly put the last of our quarters in the meter. so i zoomed out of the car and popped those quarters in like there was no tomorrow... only to find out that i was in front of the wrong meter.

it was like slow motion... the last quarter dropping in,  you desperately calling out my name and helplessly pointing to the meter i was supposed to feed... and me looking from my meter to yours wondering how in the world i could've screwed this one up.

but you laughed.
and i like it when you laugh.


if only there was one more opportunity to say thank you

it's nights likes these that remind me of a few weeks ago when my mother-in-law passed away. this feeling of being tired, but not being able to go to sleep. that was what it was like when we were all at the hospital. none of us really went to sleep. we kept watch at her bedside. 

my husband told me that when his father passed away 12 years ago, it happened over night when they had all gone home to sleep. it was that experience that made them, and me, not want to leave her side.

there were so many things that happened. i sometimes just sit and literally play the scenes over and over in my head. i think it's because while the experience was a sad one, the doctors and nurses at the north shore university hospital in manhasset were so incredibly great. my mother in law was in the emergency department (building 2), on the 4th floor in the neurosurgical intensive care unit. any chance i got, i said thank you to the nurses for taking such good care of her. but i wish i had thanked them more. i wish i remembered all their names.

there was the nurse who made me a makeshift bed out of chairs so i can get some sleep.. she looked so worried but i kept reassuring her that i have dark circles even when i have 8 hours of sleep; there was someone who chatted me about tae kwon do and how her boyfriend would go train in korea.. it was good to talk about something that wasn't related to what was going on at the moment; one of our visitors offered comic relief by having a crush on one of the guy nurses.. and he got assigned to us that one night when she didn't come to visit...; and another nurse probably should win patience of the year award for answering one too many questions we had about anything and everything. there was a doctor who spent time in korea and knew a few words. he called my mother-in-law ah joom ma (something you call an older woman) instead of hal muh ni (literally meaning grandmother) and we chuckled and said that she would've liked that a lot...

our attending doctor and the doctors who cared for her over night were wonderful and so very professional {ok.. so i was a little intimidated at first, but who isn't scared of doctors..?}. our attending doctor explained throughly until we understood what was happening and shared updates with us every morning... we were lucky to have her be taken care of the wonderful folks at the intensive care unit at north shore.

so thank you once again.. for taking good care of her.. and all of us, too. 

February 22, 2013

we watched first position last night and was like "wow"

last night, yangkyu and i watched first position
have you seen it? 
boy. i was blown away by the talent of these young people!
and they looked so calm and confident on stage.
i have a secret crush on ballet dancers. i wanted to be one when i was younger
{ok and i wanted to be a tap dancer too.. oh yeah and a dolphin trainer and an astronaut.. you know.. kid dreams.. but i digress}

when i was younger, i was actually on a different stage. as a flutist.
i was trained at the manhattan school of music precollege division. that meant every saturday it was personal lessons, theory and ear training, electives, chorus, orchestra, oh my!
and every day it meant hours and hours of practice.
i gave everything up right before auditioning for juilliard and forever breaking my mother's heart. {well, i think she forgave me when i reached adult age...}

looking back, i was never scared of auditions, performing on a large stage or in front of intimate audiences. a panel of judges scrutinizing every move, note, sound and breath you take was not a bit scary at all. i don't know where all that childhood confidence came from. or where it went. as i got older, i think i got more timid and shy.

or maybe it was the confidence of an artist. just like these young people in first position.
i'm still so enamored by them
{and we were so happy for joan sebastian zamora! ok. that's it! no spoilers here!}

have a great weekend, everyone.


February 21, 2013

a little bit of this...

i find looking through pictures, taking and editing them really soothing.
and i think i need a bit of soothing right now.

February 18, 2013

we're going to start a little vegetable container garden, but that meme keeps popping up in our heads...

you know.. that meme with a dog that is doing things but has no idea what it's doing. 
have you seen it? 

well, we sorta, kinda feel like that.
for a while we've been talking about starting a container garden to grow our own veggies and have been collecting plastic containers over the months.
but we're afraid this little project of ours will be an epic fail. {it doesn't help that i'm a repeat offender when it comes to killing plants and flowers around here...}
but i guess we won't get anywhere until we try. 

any pointers or tips on container gardening? 
we'd love to know!

hope you enjoyed your weekend.
ours was relaxing.
mine was actually filled with lots of lifetime movies. 
5 straight. yes. it's totally possible if you put your mind to it. ;)


February 15, 2013

ways to say i love my husband is endless and goes a little something like this

we go together like a wink and a smile, 
like needle and thread, 
like salt and pepper.

in other words, we go together like 
rama lama lama 
ke ding a de dinga a dong. 
remembered forever like
shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom.

happy friday.
we hope you have a wonderful weekend. 


February 14, 2013

now playing: a valentine mix for the one i love

love a little extra today.. and everyday.
these are the songs we love.

01 // l-o-v-e - joss stone
02 // estrellita - charlie siem
03 // together - kina grannis
04 // i will - the beatles
05 // i want you back - jackson 5
06 // you and i - ingrid michaelson
07 // valentine - kina grannis
08 //accidentally in love - counting crows

happy valentine's day.

xoxo, jane

ps: a special video. this is piri waiting for his one true love.. his chicken treats.

February 13, 2013

she was a gentle soul. may she rest in peace.

thanks everyone for your messages. it's been a difficult time for us, but we're trying to get back to "normal" life and think of happy memories. 

last saturday, my mother--in-law collapsed from a ruptured aneurysm and slipped into a coma. for days her children, family and friends were praying for her to wake up, but her condition was so terrible... so severe... and she passed away on thursday leaving us all very empty and sad.

it was only a few weeks ago when we were in new york for my friend's baby shower. we stayed with my husband's sister and his mother and we laughed with her and ate her meals. she bought me clothes and asked if i liked them.... i told her i loved them.

when her friends visited the hospital they asked me if i was the youngest daughter-in-law. they told me that my mother-in-law had gone shopping with them and picked out the tops. when she saw her friends next, she told them how much i loved the tops. they asked, "are you sure your daughter-in-law wasn't just saying that?" but my mother-in-law said.. "no. she really liked them. she really did. i know." they told me they were happy that my mother-in-law and i had that moment to share before she passed. i'm glad my mother-in-law had such thoughtful friends. one lady continued to send texts to my mother-in-law's cell phone even on the day of her burial... 

it was hard seeing her in a coma because she was such an active woman. it was hard seeing my husband so distraught because she was all he had. it was hard seeing my husband and my brother and sister in law say their final good-byes. it was too soon.

and this was all so sudden and unexpected. she had so much more life to live. she was finally going to get the opportunity to go back back to her home country after being away for 19 years. these are the things that make it more difficult to accept that she has passed... but we are trying to find some comfort knowing that she is reunited with her husband whom she lost 12 years ago. 

my mother-in-law was loved. it showed in the outpouring of love she received from friends and family, but mostly through her three children. many were saddened to have her go and many more remembered her kindest, funniest and gentlest moments. they all showed up to say thank you for having touched their lives.

she will be extremely missed.
may she rest in peace.

February 3, 2013

i want to hold your hand

tonight is so still that i hear the faintest of sounds.
we'll be out of pocket for a little bit. we have some family emergency to tend to.
please send good energy.. your comfort and warmth. 
we appreciate your love & thoughts..

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