June 19, 2015

Some random ramblings and things

A couple of weeks ago I took our old winter bed sheet and decided to make a new mat out of it. The previous one I had made is becoming a little tattered around the edges and originally I was going to add on to the mat to make it bigger but I thought that maybe I can make this one more oval instead of circular. I've already crocheted one side of the bed sheet and have the second side left. I'll work on my stitches today and throughout the weekend. Working with a fat crochet hook and bed sheets is a little bit more tricky and less smooth than working with yarn and a smaller hook but it still has the same soothing effect on my soul. 

Speaking of soothing the soul, I've picked some fresh mint from my herb container garden and making myself a hot pot of tea. 

I've recently discovered the show VEEP. Do you watch? I don't know how I've lived my life before I knew about the show. How could I have only heard about it now? I love it. It cracked me up to no end and I can't wait until the new season starts. 

I've also been on a stuffed anchovy olive kick for the past few months. I finish a small jar in one sitting, a large jar in two sittings, which  makes me go through a few jars a month. Is this healthy?

I'm noticing that Piri has developed a chronic hacking cough. He's had it previously but only once or twice a day. Now it's more like more often. It gets me worried when he acts out of the ordinary. Oh my dear Piri.. will I ever stop being such a worry wort?

Whenever I find a bug in the house and ask Yangkyu to get rid of it, he talks to them. In front of me. He says things like, "Bug, why did you come in here?" or "Bug, why did you let yourself be seen? Evil Jane wants me to kill you now." And then I start feeling a little guilty but then remember that I really really hate bugs. Yesterday I found a bug that looked like a scarab and put a plastic cup over it. When Yangkyu was done with his conference call I asked him to get rid of the bug and the cup. Flush it down the toilet. Do not let it go outside! I then busied myself and Yangkyu made small talk, made me laugh and then I did hear Yangkyu go downstairs and heard a "ding" sound which is our motion sensor on our balcony door, but didn't think much of it. 15 minutes later I got a suspicious hunch and then this conversation happened: 

Me: Yangkyu? Did you out outside? To the yard? 
Yangkyu: Yeah..
Me: Why? 
Yangkyu: Oh to let the.. I mean to get some fresh air. 
Me: You let the bug go didn't you. 
Yangkyu: No.. 
Me: Yes you did. 
Yangkyu: No I didn't. 
Me: I told you to flush it! 
Yangkyu: Come on Jane! It was just a baby! 

I am still trying to formulate a response to that. 

Oh. I found that same bug, or what I think is the same bug, hanging out on our screen door just moments later. 

There was a spider on our living room ceiling a couple of hours after that. 

Why me. Why do I always spot them?

Yesterday I had a memory smell. It was of the time when we first moved into this house. It brought me back to that bittersweet moment when we stepped into this house and dreamt of new and beautiful opportunities while feeling utterly sad about our miscarriage which happened the day of our move. I had a moment when I thought back and wondered if we had a healthy pregnancy that our Basil/Clover would been around 3 months now. But then I wonder if our infertility is a blessing in disguise. That in some odd and heartbreaking way it is giving us more time and attention to Piri. His most recent health scare got me thinking how we would've handled everything if there was a little baby to take care of as well.

But maybe it's just another one of my defense mechanisms so that my heart won't hurt as much. I sometimes do this. Convince myself or to put it more harshly, lie to myself and make myself believe in different possibilities to make sense of our infertility. 

On a more lighter note, tomorrow is Yangkyu's birthday. It's a full house at Piri's Place and Piri is still on the mends but I plan on putting up a little decoration. I'm still trying to figure out what I'll do for his cake. But even if it means I'll only get to put up two sorry looking streamers, I'll put up those sorry looking streamers because he deserves a little something special. 

What do you have planned for the weekend? 
I hope it will be a delightfully pleasant one. 

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